{"id":47719,"date":"2021-06-17T13:35:35","date_gmt":"2021-06-17T12:35:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.withinnigeria.com\/news\/?p=47719"},"modified":"2021-06-17T13:46:05","modified_gmt":"2021-06-17T12:46:05","slug":"gay-man-who-sought-asylum-in-the-uk-shares-near-death-experience-while-in-nigeria","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.withinnigeria.com\/news\/2021\/06\/17\/gay-man-who-sought-asylum-in-the-uk-shares-near-death-experience-while-in-nigeria\/","title":{"rendered":"Gay man who sought asylum in the UK shares near death experience while in Nigeria"},"content":{"rendered":"

27-year-old Victor Iringere, who fled to the United Kingdom to seek asylum has narrated his experiences; from \u2018traumatic all-night exorcisms, discrimination to being chased by the police in Lagos after he was caught kissing his boyfriend in the car.”<\/p>\n

According to METRO UK,\u00a0 the Nigerian gay man said “When two men are caught together, they\u2019d be beaten<\/a> up by a mob, set ablaze, burnt alive. I was sure they were going to catch us.”<\/p>\n

Victor never imagined he would become a refugee. Having come from a well-off family and launching his own business after studying mechanical engineering at university, Victor thought his life was set.<\/p>\n

But growing up in Nigeria, where homosexuality<\/a> is a crime, and with a strict religious family who believe it is a sin, he was left with no alternative.<\/p>\n

Victor said he endured conversion therapy, exorcisms, and a brush with death before he sought UK asylum in 2017 with the hope of living life freely as a gay man. But his struggles were far from over and he became homeless within two months.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Fast-forward four years and Victor is now happily married living with his husband in Birmingham and fulfilled in his \u2018wonderful\u2019 work at Coventry Refugee and Migrant Centre. ‘It\u2019s given a purpose to my struggle,\u2019 says the Refugee Week ambassador.<\/p>\n

“I feel like it wasn\u2019t meaningless suffering because I can help other people \u2013 I can be a source of advice and comfort.” he said.<\/p>\n

Growing up in a devout Pentecostal Christian household led to \u2018a lot of self- hate\u2019 during his teenage years. One day, overcome with guilt over his first sexual relationship with a boy in his class, 16-year-old Victor confided in his pastor, who urged him to tell his mother.<\/p>\n

“After that, I got put in conversion therapy for the first time,\u2019 he recalls. \u2018I went through pretty much every type in the book. They wanted to believe I was \u201ccured\u201d.\u2019<\/p>\n

Over the next three years, Victor said went through spiritual, psychological and religious methods of conversion therapy, which aims to attempt to change a person\u2019s sexual orientation to heterosexual or gender identity to cisgender.<\/p>\n

“Because I felt like I was committing a sin and this is wrong \u2013 that God would be angry with me \u2013 I kind of went willingly at first,” he explains.<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t until Victor decided to travel overseas to at age 19, that he realised he could \u2018live a life that ‘wasn\u2019t shameful\u2019 and came out as gay for the first time. He enjoyed relationships and got involved in the community, joining the LGBT+ society and working at a gay bar, before securing a job at a high-flying tech firm.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The then-student said he felt he\u2019d even made a breakthrough with his paediatrician mother, having sent to her medical research papers that prove homosexuality is natural.<\/p>\n

“Going home I thought we could finally have a conversation about it in real scientific terms and not religious terms,\u2019 he says. \u2018Those were the hopes I held onto.”<\/p>\n

But Victor said when he returned to Nigeria in late 2016, things worsened.<\/p>\n

“After having lived out for four years with all of that freedom, I really couldn\u2019t be closeted as people would\u2019ve expected,” he explains.<\/p>\n

He claims that within weeks, his family became \u2018very aggressive\u2019 and started forcing him through \u2018traumatic\u2019 all-night exorcisms, which his relatives described as \u2018night vigils\u2019, while he was launching a tech start-up.<\/p>\n

“I\u2019d get home from work and there would be a pastor in the kitchen waiting to exorcise me of the homosexual demons,\u2019 he says.<\/p>\n

He describes how he was put through \u2018night vigils\u2019 twice a week, before one \u2018prophet\u2019 concluded they would have to find Victor a wife. His family then set about planning a forced marriage.<\/p>\n

He said on one occasion, he was driven hours out of Lagos and told only that he was going to \u2018The Mountain\u2019, which he describes as a small church surrounded by forest.<\/p>\n

“I didn\u2019t know where in the world I was,\u2019 he recalls. \u2018I was there three days with no food or water. It was a dry fast \u2013 I was basically starved. There were 10 to 12 hours of prayer sessions every day, where the prophet and assistants would put me in a circle and jerk and push me around. They\u2019re very violent prayers. You\u2019re being slapped to get the demons out of you. They say they\u2019re not hitting you, that they\u2019re hitting the demons \u2013 but, it\u2019s me.” he recalled.<\/p>\n

According to Victor, while trying out Lagos\u2019 underground LGBT+ dating scene, he went through a series of devastating events, including falling victim to a scammer who purported to be gay to steal his money.<\/p>\n

He said one night, while parked in an abandoned train station believing it was safe, he and his boyfriend were caught by two plain-clothed police officers on motorbikes.<\/p>\n

“He shone his flashlight into the car and saw us making out. We started to panic. Then he tried to yank open the door,\u2019 he recalls.<\/p>\n

Fearing for their lives, Victor locked the doors, turned the key in the ignition and fled. But while trying to get away, they smashed into a parked train, completely crushing the right side of the car and shattering the windscreen.<\/p>\n

Miraculously, the pair were unharmed \u2013 despite being covered in shards of glass \u2013 and sped off again with the officers in pursuit. But just as Victor managed to lose them, they came to a police check point.<\/p>\n

Victor said as an officer there looked \u2018puzzled\u2019 at the wrecked car, he received a call from one of the cops on the motorbikes. According to Victor, he heard the officer scream down the phone \u2018stop them\u2019.<\/p>\n

The 27-year-old said he backed up the car to make a run for it but as he sped towards the gate, officers put spikes up on the road. He said he put his foot on the accelerator and kept going \u2018as fast as I could\u2019 despite puncturing his tyres.<\/p>\n

However, when the pair got to the main road, they hit traffic. Victor urged his partner to \u2018get out and run\u2019.<\/p>\n

“At that point I was relieved that at least I got to save him,\u2019 he recalls.<\/p>\n

Eventually, Victor managed to lose police by taking side roads until his left tyre deflated. He abandoned his car and took refuge at a friend\u2019s house.<\/p>\n

“I couldn\u2019t speak. I was in fear. They kept asking me what happened and every time I tried to, I just burst out in tears,\u2019 he says.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Struggling to hold everything together, the graduate soon lost his UK work contract and his business fell apart. Stuck at home with no job, no car, no money and still undergoing ‘weekly exorcisms,” Victor fell into a deep depression and planned to take his own life.<\/p>\n

“I felt like the day I died was in that car\u2026 My life was completely bleak, there was nothing,\u2019 he says.<\/p>\n

He said after confiding his intentions to a friend, he was persuaded to get a job in PR in Lagos and look towards his graduation. In July 2017, Victor returned to Coventry for the ceremony and a friend urged him to seek asylum.<\/p>\n

“I thought no. You hear the word \u201crefugee\u201d and you think \u201coh god that\u2019s not me\u201d,\u2019 he says. But a few days after my graduation, I was on a train looking out at the countryside and I remember feeling so peaceful. For the first time there was possibility. And I thought to myself, \u201cyou can\u2019t go back\u201d. I was absolutely certain I wouldn\u2019t make it past that year. If I wasn\u2019t killed, I\u2019d kill myself \u2013 it was one or the other.”<\/p>\n

That month, Victor applied for asylum based on sexual orientation. But after struggling to access support, he ran out of money and became homeless after two months.<\/p>\n

Following a stint in a shelter and emergency Home Office accommodation, he was finally moved into shared housing in December and spent the next year \u2018stuck in limbo\u2019, unable to work and living on \u00a35.66 a day.<\/p>\n

“I knew I couldn\u2019t go back because that was certain death. Staying here in that system \u2013 there was no other option. Even though it was marginally better, it was still a horrible time,\u2019 he recalls.<\/p>\n

“In March 2019 his asylum application was finally approved and \u2018felt like world had finally opened up\u2019 to him. Within weeks, he moved back to Coventry and got a job as a business coordinator at the refugee centre, where he has worked ever since.<\/p>\n

“It\u2019s honestly wonderful. I feel like the difficulties I\u2019ve experienced \u2013 it\u2019s given meaning to that,” he adds.<\/p>\n

Victor recently got married in May, after proposing to his husband on a romantic Cape Verde getaway last year.<\/p>\n

He is now speaking to his mother again, after having some difficult conversations.
\nDespite the immense hardships Victor has endured, he says he wants his story to be one of hope and to serve as a lesson against prejudice.<\/p>\n

“I used to think anyone could be successful if they just worked hard enough. I\u2019ve learned from my own experience that that\u2019s just not true. Everybody needs a bit of luck. I never thought I\u2019d take on the status of a refugee\u2026 I was successful but because of prejudice I lost it all. Just look at a person and think that person could easily be me with a few changed circumstances.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

27-year-old Victor Iringere, who fled to the United Kingdom to seek asylum has narrated his experiences; from \u2018traumatic all-night exorcisms, discrimination to being chased by the police in Lagos after he was caught kissing his boyfriend in the car.” According to METRO UK,\u00a0 the Nigerian gay man said “When two men are caught together, they\u2019d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":47749,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_override_bookmark_settings":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[45],"tags":[11094,11095,2162,11093],"class_list":["post-47719","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-xtra","tag-gay-nigerian-man","tag-near-death-experience","tag-united-kingdom","tag-victor-iringere"],"yoast_head":"\nGay man who sought 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