How to have a private relationship without being secretive

For many people, one of the signs of being in love or getting into a new relationship is how they talk ceaselessly about the new partner.

You could be talking about something totally unrelated and they’ll just look for a way to bring their girlfriend or boyfriend into it.

You: It seems Small Doctor has just released a nude clip of himself on Snapchat.

Them: Waoh, that’s silly. My boyfriend will never do that.

Yep. That’s how quick they are to pull bae into every single conversation.

A lot has been said about social media PDA and putting all your relationship affairs on social media.

There are two sides of the divide; just as there are those who would overshare, there are those who are suspiciously secretive about their relationship.

But it is also now common to hear people say they don’t like putting their relationships out there. Just as you have people that share everything about their relationships/marriages, you also have people who won’t breathe a word about it, even if you press them repeatedly.

It is perfectly OK if a private relationship or marriage is what you and bae want. It’s all good.

But just be sure you are keeping a private relationship and not a secret relationship because there’s actually a difference. In fact, some people who keep their relationships secret think they are just being private about it.

If no one knows you are in a relationship, despite having been asked severally, then you are keeping it secret.

Being asked if you are in a relationship and not stating your answer clearly – YES or NO – is wrong. It could be rightly interpreted as you lying.

Lying about your relationship status almost always means one thing – you are considering cheating, or hoping to ‘sexually defraud’ someone by making them believe you are single when you are not.

That’s sneaky and deceptive and… yep, you guessed right… being secretive about your relationship. Some have also interpreted this as a sign of being ashamed of your partner.

Being private about your relationship means while you are not excessively loud and verbally dramatic about it all the time, you are unequivocally truthful about being in one.


You should be bothered if your partner suddenly begins to feel reluctant about being seen with you in public.
However, that’s all you let people know.

You don’t go on social media to show every gift your boo bought, you don’t do everything for the gram, you don’t tell your friends every time you have sex with your girl, your girls don’t get the complete gist of every moment spent with bae.

The minimal the information you share with close friends, family member and social media, the better.

Just look at Beyonce and Jay Z’s marriage as an example, as well as Simi and Adekunle Gold’s. Despite being such public, popular figures, they keep such a tight lid on what gets out and what does not. You only know what they want you to.

That’s how to be private in relationships.

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