Being married not something women should aspire to – Chimamanda Adichie sparks heated debate online

Award-winning Nigerian writer and feminist icon, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, has set social media ablaze with her bold take on marriage.

At a recent homecoming book event in Abuja, the celebrated author of Half of a Yellow Sun and Americanah dropped a powerful message aimed at women, particularly young women.

According to Adichie, the concept of marriage should not be viewed as an aspiration or life goal for women. During her speech, the author said:

“Marriage is not something women should aspire to,”

“Aspire to be a better version of yourself. If you find the right man, fine. But don’t waste your life searching for one. Focus on you.”

As expected, her words have gone viral, fueling yet another round of intense debates about gender roles, cultural expectations, and the societal pressure Nigerian women face regarding marriage.

While some applauded her for challenging outdated norms, others accused her of sending a “dangerous” message to impressionable young women. But Chimamanda Adichie, known for her unapologetic takes on feminism and identity, didn’t flinch.

Here is what some netizens had to say:

@i_am_dinmaa: “Male-centeredness, husband-crazy and marriage obsession no gree una assimilate the point she dey make… When you marry the right person, marriage can be wonderful, but don’t let that take precedence over becoming a better version of yourself.”

@nedumphotography: “Best advice. 🔥🔥🔥🔥 I don dey talk these things since. But one pastor will convince them to wear wedding gown for prayers.”

@celiaokechukwu: “Most of you lack comprehension. She’s married herself, so how is she against marriage? Her point is deeper.”

@selfivo: “Aspire to get an odogwu oh. Independent woman don tire abeg oh 😂😂😂😂.”

@nanaaesher: “Let people aspire what they want to aspire. Some want to be ‘oga wife’ and that is okay too.”

@that_fey: “My dad told me this same thing ‘Become your best self and the man will come.’ It stuck with me.”

Of course, a few users weren’t so kind. One commenter, @tombrinelly, wrote:

“I sha cannot marry an old woman. If you’re above 30, just wait for men in their 40’s and 50’s. Forget about 30’s men. We’re for the early 20’s 😏.”

That comment, unsurprisingly, was met with swift backlash for its ageist and sexist undertones.