It seems we often learn about what love is—or what we think it should be—from movies and TV. There’s this binary idea of “I love him!/He’s the worst!” “I’m going to marry him!/I never want to speak to him again!” Sure, everybody has moments when they look at their partner and wonder, Could this person be my person? But I believe that the more you experience, the more your feelings begin to exist in shades of gray.
My first experience with love was incredibly pure. The boy I loved had been one of my best friends from the time we were 9 years old. We went to summer camp together every year. I remember what a big deal it was the first time he held my hand. He was my first real kiss.
I don’t define success that way anymore. Because the answers are never black-and-white. Often in between those two, you find the keys to what you need in partnership: what you’re willing to give, what you want to get, and what things are absolutes that you cannot compromise on. A few months with the right person can be as great an experience as a decade-long union with someone else.
When you take the pressure of The One off, you’ll open yourself up to endless possibilities. You’ll learn to have a truly deep, knowing relationship with yourself first. Then the rest will fall into place. Reasons, seasons, and lifetimes. They’re all valid.
The Chicago P.D. star believes your soul mate isn’t someone you have to search for.
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