8. Five-Toe Shoes: Brat
Even in this topsy-turvy world of high-fashion Crocs and Ugg-Teva hybirds, the five-toe shoe remains the most incurably ugly piece of footwear on the planet. This is not a matter of opinion, but a cold, hard fact. Any dude who chooses to wear them, despite their obvious hideousness, is clearly just doing so to prove that he can. Because he’s a grown-up and he can do what he wants! You can’t tell him what to do. You’re not his mom! Not that she ever told him what to do either. The little brat.
Of course, if you like the idea of spending fruitless hours begging your guy to do simple things like wear an actual tuxedo to your sister’s formal wedding instead of a tuxedo-printed graphic T-shirt, then by all means, date away. If not … Red flag.
