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5 Ways To Get Your Guy To Open Up

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“Not all men are used to describing their emotions, so when you ask him what he’s feeling, he may not know what to say,” says Mark Feinberg, PhD, a professor of health and human development at Pennsylvania State University. Worse, it can seem like you’re calling him out for withholding, which puts him on the defensive. So avoid the “Why so quiet?” approach. Instead, try these four words that do a better job of encouraging a guy to articulate what he’s feeling: “I’m here to listen.” That phrase sends the clear message that you’re ready to hear him. Then, if he tells you, “My boss hated my presentation,” rather than firing off questions about his boss’s reaction, use empathy to take the conversation deeper. Say: “I’d be so bummed if that happened to me!” which signals that you’re not judging him.

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