7. Write letters to your ex-but don’t send them.
Speaking of writing, Orbuch advises writing a letter or letters to your ex-but don’t stamp it or click send. (Seriously. Don’t.) Write down how you feel, how the breakup is affecting you, and anything else you’d hypothetically like to tell that person.
Do it weekly, if you want, so you can record how your emotions are shifting as time goes on. “It has nothing to do with getting the partner back or telling the partner what’s happening,” Orbuch says. “It’s a way of you getting closure and you letting go of a lot of the emotional baggage connected to the past.”
8. Enlist your fan club.
Immediately after a breakup, social support is crucial, says Orbuch, who suggests reaching out to a best friend, parent, therapist or anyone else who can reinforce your positive qualities, remind you why the relationship didn’t work out, and otherwise be a loving sounding board for your woes.
Unlike unhealthy coping mechanisms like turning to booze or sleeping all day, “purging that anger and loneliness and frustration in a constructive way is so important,” Orbuch says.
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