Who is a single mother?
A woman who is a parent but does not have a partner to help with childrearing or financial support.
There has never been a culture that endorses or allows intentional single parenthood. It includes both males and females. Inequities like rape, death, and divorce affected single parents in the past, among other things.
A rape victim who became pregnant after the attack may have to raise their child alone. You may end yourself raising your children alone if your partner passes away at the cruel hands of death. You may become a single parent if you are divorced from your partner and have children.
In the past, widows, widowers, or divorcees were significant components of single parenthood.
People now choose to be single parents, according to study.
While single parents in Australia are eligible for government support payments under the condition that they are looking after at least one child under the age of eight, the Supreme Court of India recognizes the rights of single moms to conceive and raise children.
Single parenthood among young people has dramatically increased recently in Nigeria. Approximately 3 out of 5 young families with dependent children are single-parent households in Osun communities, primarily Ilesa and Osogbo, according to a brief survey this reporter performed.
A closer look found that these lone parents were not the result of rape, murder, cancer, or divorce. Most are the victims of early pregnancies, which leave the females to handle childbirth and maintenance duties alone.
There are other situations, though, where a person’s faith or tribe might actually make early pregnancy-related abandonment worse. There are also young women who had children after being dumped by their lovers and ended up raising such children by themselves. There are also girls who fled from obligations after being duped and being pregnant by scammers, primarily yahoo lads.
Several single women shared their difficult experiences as single parents with WITHIN NIGERIA while speaking under the condition of anonymity.
Some single mothers mentioned emotional and financial difficulties, while others grumbled about the way society had treated them.
When describing her ordeals, a 33-year-old single mother named Folake (not her real name) confessed that she almost went insane after being split up from her ex-lover.
He is an Enugu native. I am Yoruba, and we are quite proud of who we are. He asked me to become pregnant so that he could promise to propose to me after I gave birth. We had a good pregnancy and were content with our lives, she revealed.
Folake continued, saying that her partner changed once she gave birth to a daughter and began hanging out with girls, which made him less focused on his close relatives.
She managed the situation until his family convened a family meeting and informed her that their son would not be able to maintain the connection, the graduate of Chemistry education further disclosed.
They even demanded that I give up my child. When I objected, they threatened to stop paying child support. Folake claimed that even though we dragged the issue out for a while, they insisted that we should break up.
According to Folake, her ex-lover was silent and kept his composure throughout the meeting.
They came after me to our home. I didn’t believe it, so I only packed a few clothing and headed to my mother’s place. It became a reality over time.
She said, “I have faced many challenges and worked various blue collar jobs to raise my child independently.
When asked why she hasn’t remarried, Folake admitted that she’s tried on multiple occasions, but she saw that certain families sort of segregate or negatively profile single mothers, which makes it difficult for their sons to marry them.
I dated at least two young guys following the breakup, but we were unable to move forward because of the opposition from their parents.
They presumably believed that the earlier split was due to me, therefore they fiercely discouraged their sons from doing it. A fairly dejected Folake told this reporter, “For now, survival is paramount. I intend to marry and have more children.
Wemimo (not her real name), a 26-year-old single mother who teaches in a private school, was raped by her ex-lover after he made her promises of heaven and earth.
The 26-year-old woman informed this reporter that they began dating while still in school and that he was devoted to the union up until he began acting inappropriately.
“On university, we had a couple’s lifestyle. We were really close and also making plans for life after graduation. In my final lap (HND), he betrayed me, and I was unaware that I was pregnant at the time “.
“I went for a test after I noticed some strange developments in my body. I repeatedly called his number to let him know I was pregnant, but he never answered. He did not return any of my texts “Wemimo remarked.
Wemimo claims that she was later blocked by her ex-boyfriend, and his friends—including those I used to cook for—distanced themselves from her.
My mother insisted that I not abort the child, so I later gave birth to it. Now when the toddler is two years old. After I delivered, we alerted him via a different phone, but he has not responded as of now. It probably would have been simpler if he had a mother, but he lost his mother when he was quite little. I think that also affected the child’s refusal to participate, she continued.
A 28-year-old single mother who only went by the name Sewa revealed this information in a separate interview with WITHIN NIGERIA. She claimed that her ex-lover abandoned their child after their relationship ended because she refused to give him custody of the child.
Sewa claims that her husband divorced her and used her bad behavior as an explanation.
“I’m a good girl, as my friends and coworkers know. Men make lame excuses when they are no longer interested in you. Before I became pregnant, we dated for a total of two years. When our child became one year old, we got engaged “The 28-year-old female said.
While detailing how her husband left the house on Sunday morning and never came back, Sewa emphasized that she made every effort to locate him ended in futility.
His relatives insisted that they were unaware of his current whereabouts. When I went to Osogbo two years later, I saw him with a pregnant woman. My main concern is how he expects to care for his child. He is free to love and remarry anyone, a clearly irritated woman yelled.
Salewa AbdulSamad (fake name), who lost her spouse unexpectedly two years ago, is now a single mother.
Salewa, whose husband passed away due to health problems, told WITHIN NIGERIA that she did a variety of odd jobs to support the family.
While lamenting her financial difficulties, the mother of two boys and one girl admitted that she occasionally needed to ask for loans to cover bills like rent and tuition.
Before he passed away, my spouse was a very loving and caring man. He had a strong commitment to the family’s welfare and education. I never thought I’d be in this situation. Even though his relatives help us out, they are unable to abandon their own children. We are in a very challenging situation, a dejected mother of three said.
Ondo native Pelumi said to this reporter that she was a victim of premarital sex and that she became a single mother because she did not abstain from it.
The Ondo native claims that her ex-boyfriend put her in a family situation and wasn’t ready for marriage at the time of the pregnancy.
My mother forbade me from terminating it. We gave her the name Ibukunoluwa because, according to my mother, the pregnancy was a gift from God.
The 25-year-old native of Ondo emphasized that her ex-boyfriend subsequently wed another woman, perhaps reducing his financial obligation to us.
We went from a small amount to nothing. Once more, he shows no concern for his child. He answers the phone whenever he wants if I call him, and occasionally he does not answer the call at all. She said, “He’s completely transformed.
Pelumi nodded in agreement when I inquired if she intended to be married again.
“Without a doubt, if the moment was right, I would remarry. Men use other people’s circumstances. I have witnessed a lot. They would initially portray being a single mother as having no significance “.
After a few weeks or months of dating, they might begin acting strangely. Some men went so far as to cite their kin as a justification for ending the relationship. I must remain calm and turn to prayer if I want to avoid being taken advantage of and abandoned. A slightly dejected Pelumi continued, “I genuinely fear males.
Discussion about this post