Nollywood actress Adesua Etomi and singer-actor Banky W have opened up on their relationship, faith and marriage in a sit-down with actor, comedian and talk show host, Teju ‘Babyface’ Oyelakin.
In the interview, the couple spoke about how their relationship began as a friendship, the role of faith in their decision to marry, and the challenges they have faced together, including difficult seasons that tested both their union and personal growth.
“We Started as Friends”
Speaking on how their relationship began, Adesua Etomi said her connection with Banky W was built on a strong friendship.
She explained that while he quickly became important to her, she initially struggled to see him as more than a friend. According to her, she was not convinced about a relationship at the time and found it difficult to look past what she described as his “colorful life” before his spiritual transition.
Etomi added that despite their closeness, she needed to be certain for herself before taking any step beyond friendship.
Conviction Through Faith
Adesua Etomi said her decision to move beyond friendship was ultimately shaped by personal conviction rooted in faith.
She explained that she needed clarity for herself, stressing that external opinions would not have mattered once she was certain. According to her, that certainty came when she believed God confirmed the relationship to her. The mother of two boys was shocked because prior confirmation that Banky W is her husband, she had told herself she wasn’t going to marry a musician, a pastor or a politician. She added that God had other plans because the man she was led to are all of these things and more.
“I needed to know for myself… because if I knew for myself, there was nothing anybody could say.”
She added that the conviction was absolute and left no room for doubt.
“This is the person that I’m supposed to be with… this is my person.”
Etomi maintained that the assurance defined her decision and has remained central to their relationship.
Banky W’s Turning Point
Banky W said the path to their relationship was not immediate, revealing that his early attempts did not lead to a romantic commitment.
He admitted that after being turned down on multiple occasions, he initially stepped back, choosing to protect his emotions.
“I’m not talking to her again… you know how we are, your ego is bruised.”
He said the experience forced him to reconsider his approach, eventually deciding not to lose what he described as one of the most meaningful friendships in his life.
According to him, he chose to return with a different mindset and focus on friendship rather than pursuing a relationship with Adesua at the time. That shift, he explained, led him to a more deliberate decision rooted in faith.
“I said, God… I feel like this is my wife… but she just can’t see it.”
Banky W added that he stopped asking her directly and instead prayed for clarity, asking God to speak to her instead.
“I’m not going to ask her again… if you want us together, go and tell her.”
He said he left the situation entirely in God’s hands after that point. Banky W said the turning point in their relationship came during a phone conversation, after a period of waiting, following his decision to step back. He recalled that Adesua Etomi eventually reached her own conclusion and expressed it directly. In his words:
“She said… ‘but Banky, you know you’re my husband, right?’”
According to him, the moment did not come as a surprise. He responded to her:
“I’ve known for a year and a half. I’ve just been waiting for you to catch up.”
He explained that his reaction was shaped by his faith, noting that he had already settled the outcome internally before that conversation.
Banky W added that for him, the moment simply confirmed what he already believed, rather than changing his position.
Love After Friendship
Banky W said their relationship grew stronger after he chose to step back from pursuing romance and focus on friendship.
He explained that rather than creating distance, that decision brought them closer.
“We became even closer than we were before.”
According to him, the shift removed pressure and allowed their connection to develop more naturally.
Adesua Etomi had earlier described their foundation as a “solid friendship,” noting that it played a key role in how their relationship evolved over time.
Together, they indicated that the strength of that early bond helped shape the direction their relationship eventually took.
Public Affection, Private Consistency
Adesua Etomi and Banky W said their closeness has remained consistent over the years, despite nearly a decade together.
Speaking during the interview with Teju Babyface, the couple who had been holding hands throughout revealed that physical affection continues to be a constant in their marriage.
“That’s how it was supposed to be. And to the glory of God, that’s how it is. I didn’t even realise we were doing that… Yeah. All the time. All the time. We sleep with our feet touching all the time. All the time… 10 years together on the 1st of October, but 10 years married next year.”
They added that this has not changed with time, maintaining that their dynamic still reflects the same level of intimacy from the early stages of their relationship.
“It’s always like this. One way or the other. We must have physical contact.”
The couple noted that their bond remains intentional and consistent, even as their relationship has matured.
Faith as the Core Anchor
Adesua Etomi said her faith has always been a central part of her life, long before her relationship with Banky W. She explained that her walk with God has been consistent, but has deepened over time through intentional effort and personal experiences.
“I’ve just really wanted more of a deeper relationship with God… that’s what is at the forefront of my life.”
According to her, faith is not passive but requires continuous work, likening it to maintaining a relationship.
“If you don’t work at it… it’s probably going to die.”
She added that difficult moments in her life and in their marriage have strengthened that connection, rather than weakened it.
Banky W, on his part, described a different journey, revealing that he went through a period of feeling lost despite success.
“I woke up feeling empty… I woke up feeling lost.”
He said that phase marked the beginning of his return to faith, eventually rededicating his life after what he described as a long period away.
“I started trying to find my way back to a relationship with God.”
He stressed that his spiritual journey preceded their relationship, making a clear distinction about its role in their story.
“Adesua didn’t lead me to Jesus, Jesus led me to Adesua.”
Both said their shared faith now plays a central role in how they navigate life and marriage.
Trials and Real-Life Challenges
Adesua Etomi said their journey has included difficult periods that tested both their relationship and individual resilience. She pointed to personal and shared challenges, including their wait for children and health struggles, noting that such experiences drew them closer to God.
“There’s certain difficult situations that we faced… that have drawn us even closer to God.”
Among those, she referenced cancer, which Banky W has previously battled, alongside other pressures they encountered as a couple. According to her, those moments strengthened their faith rather than weakened it.
Banky W also acknowledged the weight of those seasons, noting that they faced intense periods that pushed them to their limits.
“We’ve had seasons that have really pushed us to the brink.”
He added that navigating those moments required reliance on faith and support systems around them. Both emphasised that while their story is often seen publicly, it has included the same kinds of challenges faced by many couples.
50/50: Marriage Reality Check
Adesua Etomi said their marriage is not built on equal contribution at all times, stressing that balance shifts depending on the season. She explained that while marriage requires full commitment from both partners, the reality is often uneven.
“Marriage requires 100% of you and 100% of me… but some seasons I might be 20 and he’s 80.”
According to her, different phases demand different levels of sacrifice, with each partner stepping in more when needed. She added that understanding this dynamic has been key to maintaining their relationship, especially with the demands of their careers.
“It’s not always going to be 50/50. It just doesn’t work that way.”
Banky W agreed, noting that their experience has required flexibility and mutual support rather than rigid expectations. Both emphasised that partnership, rather than strict balance, defines how they navigate marriage.
Family First
Adesua Etomi said their family remains the top priority, describing it as the foundation that guides every other decision.
“Our family is our first ministry.”
She explained that regardless of career demands, they are deliberate about ensuring their home is not neglected, noting that how they manage their family life matters deeply to them.
According to her, this focus requires constant adjustment, especially during busy periods, with both partners stepping in where needed.
Banky W added that support from family members has also played a role in helping them navigate demanding seasons.
He cited instances where relatives stepped in to help care for their children while they fulfilled work commitments. The couple said this support system, alongside their shared priorities, has helped them maintain stability amid competing responsibilities.
Purpose and Calling
Banky W said his understanding of purpose has evolved over time, describing it not as a single role but as a broader assignment.
“Purpose is a world… and within that world, there are multiple callings.”
He explained that individuals can operate in different capacities across seasons, noting that his journey has spanned entertainment, ministry, business and leadership.
According to him, each phase represents a different expression of the same overarching purpose. He also pointed to his current work in ministry, revealing that he now serves as a pastor and teacher while continuing to engage in creative and business ventures.
Banky W added that this perspective required unlearning earlier assumptions about identity and career direction.
“I’ve had to unlearn and learn my life and who God created me to be.”
Adesua Etomi, on her part, said she sees her role as supporting that journey, while also pursuing her own path and growth. She noted that her focus is on seeing both of them fulfil what she described as God’s purpose for their lives and union.
Both emphasised that their approach to purpose is ongoing and shaped by different seasons.
Conclusion
Towards the end of the sit-down with Teju Babyface, Banky W said they are careful not to present their marriage as perfect, noting that they face challenges like any other couple. According to him, those experiences have been part of their growth, rather than exceptions to it.
Adesua Etomi also emphasised that their journey has required continuous effort, particularly during difficult phases that demanded patience and resilience.
Both said their ability to navigate such moments has relied heavily on faith, support systems and a shared commitment to their relationship.
The duo who got married in November 2017 added that while their story is often viewed from the outside, they face the same kind of challenges many random couples also face.
