5. Sperm can travel… far.
The alternative to masturbating into a cup at the doctor’s office is masturbating into a cup at home and bringing it to the doctor’s office. You’ve only got about an hour’s window where it’s still good, so the woman may find herself waiting at home outside the bathroom door like a sprinter waiting for a baton. Once you make the handoff, you rush to your car or taxi or train station, keeping the sample warm and potent by tucking it under your shirt or between your legs.
(A note from John: My semen went everywhere — mail, train, you name it. I have no idea how many people handled it or who they were. I’d like to take this time to thank them.)
